I’m starting to accept the fact that I’m just too nice. This means that occasionally I cross the line between being kind and non confrontational, to being a doormat.
I desire to be kind, respectful, and get along with others. My voice is very sweet and soft-spoken. I try to walk around with a smile and a positive attitude. I’m terrible with comebacks, because I’d rather be the bigger person.
I used to think that these qualities would protect me from bullying, but honestly they attract bullies. A bully can be young or old, but something they have in common is misery. They release their misery by projecting it onto others. If you’re too nice and don’t put them in their place, you will become an easy target. People repeat the behavior that gets them good results.
So what can you do if you’re too nice?
- Continue to be a kind person, because it’s a really beautiful quality. There are ways that kindness really pays off. Unlike the bully you are a light in the lives of others. You encourage people and lift them up with your kind words.
- Don’t take their negative words to heart. Bullying can cause emotional pain and low self-esteem. Please realize that the bully is the problem, not you. They’d rather make you feel bad than focus on what’s wrong with them.
- Practice your comebacks. Since I’m not good with comebacks, I like to practice them in my head. I think of something they typically say, and how to best respond. The comebacks don’t need to be mean or include foul words. That probably won’t work anyways, because they will just respond with harsher words. Remember that they are already experts at being mean.You can put someone in their place in a respecful way. That way you stay true to yourself, and you’re still the bigger person.
- Put them in their place. I have someone at my new job who’s a bully, and she works in the position under me. There’s been two times where people have welcomed me to the job, and she’s said ” Yea for six to twelve months”. The first time I tried to be the bigger person and thought it was a one time thing. The second time she caught me off guard. She won’t get away with it a third time, because I know exactly what to say. I’ll either ask her directly ” Why are you saying that” or say “You must not plan on being here for long”.
- Report them. If talking to them directly and telling them the behavior needs to stop doesn’t work, report them. Don’t continue to put up with it, you’re only hurting yourself. It can negatively effect your school or work performance. It can make you doubt yourself or your abilities. Protect yourself!
- If the bully gets physical, immediately report them. That is never acceptable and please don’t allow this!
If you’re too nice, I want you to know that you’re a beautiful person. Your kindness will pay off and change lives. People will try to take advantage of your kindness, but don’t let them. Stand up for yourself. Never allow them to make you bitter and miserable like they are. Keep being a light in this world!
If you can relate, please leave a comment below! If you’ve put a bully in their place, I’d love to hear your story!