I love reading posts by other women about how they’ve learned to embrace themselves. Confidence did not come naturally for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a perfectionist. Analyzing everything with a fine tooth comb and searching for anything negative about myself. It’s ugly and I hate to admit it, but it’s the truth.
It actually took about 18 years for me to become confident in myself. After years of reading books and praying about gaining confidence, it seems like one day it randomly just came to me. I’ve learned that confidence is all about your mindset. You could be in a room with a hundred people telling you that you’re beautiful and amazing….but the words of others only offer a short term boost of confidence. You have to change the way you see yourself, in order to build confidence.
I still struggle at times. Honestly we all do. No one is confident 100% of time. I think the biggest goal is to be confident most of the time. I know my weak points and I do my best to avoid them.
Lately I’m feeling more confident in who I am. I’ve stopped feeling the need to wear eye makeup, because I think it distracts from my eye shape and color. I’ve really embraced the shape and size of my lips, because I was naturally blessed with something people pay big money for. I’m even starting to embrace my nose, which is something I thought was my biggest flaw. Sure I would like for my nose to be slightly smaller and thinner, but at least it blends well with my wide eyes and full lips.
If you research physical attractiveness, you’ll see that beauty is often definied by a narrow range of standards. It’s very rare that one person will fit these beauty standards. I think it’s very natural in this day in age, for people to do what they can to fit the “standard of beauty”. We’ve all seen those before and after/did they or didn’t they get plastic surgery celebrity photos. It seems to be pretty rare for a celebrity to admit to having plastic surgery, no matter how obvious. They’d rather appear to have “woke up like this”. This can make the ideal beauty standards seem normal, because we’re constantly seeing it on tv, magazines, and social media.
Hypothetically If I changed my nose into a smaller and thinner one, maybe I would feel prettier or maybe I would find a new flaw. Either way I would be making a statement. A statement that I wasn’t beautiful enough because I had a wide nose, and I would just be feeding into the beauty standard. The standard that says wide noses can’t beautiful. Then if I have a daughter who has my nose, what will my decision tell her?
If you want change, you have to make change. You never know…a few years ago people were still getting teased for having big lips. Now apparently it’s the plumper the lips the better. Who’s to say you can’t turn the thing you view as your biggest flaw, into something that’s desired.