We all need that one person in our lives who tells it like it is. The person who will say what we need to hear, not just what we want to hear. Whether it’s a best friend, significant other, or family member.
Sometimes we just can’t see the truth, even if it’s obvious to everyone around us. I see those people as blessings, and those moments as freeing. Their honesty gives me with the opportunity to grow as a person.
I had an eye-opening experience this week. I was upset after work because I forgot to complete a task, and the person on the next shift shot me a few dirty looks. It felt like after 12 hours of caring for six people, I was being persecuted for one mistake. After doing everything else right, I had made a mistake.
As upset as I was, I knew something so small shouldn’t ruin my mood. I called my mom ,who is always my “dose of reality”, to talk about what happened. After hearing the story, she said “No one is persecuting you, but you. You’re being too hard on yourself. It’s your perfectionist standards”.
Something about the word perfectionist resonated with me. Despite all the signs that I was being a perfectionist, I was in total denial. I would say it jokingly sometimes, but I didn’t think it was a negative behavior.
The funny thing is years ago I went to visit a counselor. After a few visits she handed me a paper. It was about perfectionism. I had completely forgotten about that moment. The information she gave me helped, I changed my behavior, and somehow forgot the root if it all.
How could I have been so blind. My lack of perception kept me trapped. I’ve been so stressed since starting my job, and I blamed it all on my environment. While yes I work in a stressful environment, my outlook is contributing to the problem. I’m like my own militant boss, harshly critiquing my work.
I’m so thankful that my perfectionism was pointed out to me. I’ve had a lot of success adapting to it in the past. I know that it’s something I can overcome, and I look forward to being free from it again.