I stopped blogging because my heart wasn’t in it. I lost focus of why I started my blog in the first place. It was intended to just be a fun hobby. Everything I wrote was organic. There was no pressure to impress anyone. No expectations that people would even be interested.
My blog was parallel to my life. It started at a time where everything was bright and seemingly perfect. I was newly married. I had just gone on my dream honeymoon. My husband and I were both about to start new careers. We had a home together and were blessed with everything we needed. The sky was truly the limit.
Despite my blog being semi-anonymous (few people in my world knew I was blogging), I managed to gain most of my following in the first six months. It was exciting and I thought it was a sign of what was to come. I kept having fun with my writing and wrote from the heart.
Unfortunately what I thought would be one of the happiest times of my life… turned into one of the most difficult. Looking back at my blog I can map the time where things took a turn for the worst. I started to really struggle emotionally around December 2016, but I think the holiday excitement masked all my feelings. In January 2017 I spiraled and didn’t blog during the whole month. In February I came back with the post My job is draining me. From there on many of my posts expressed fears, insecurities, and frustration.
My blog became a cry for help that I never really answered. Writing became something to get me through. That’s why I say my blog is parallel to my life. I’ve always been really honest and transparent. I couldn’t produce the same upbeat content I did before.
In addition to feeling depressed, I was also disappointed by what my blog had become. I had so many good ideas, but no energy to bring them to life. I saw other bloggers that I started with reach a level of success, while my blog pretty much stopped growing. It was really discouraging. I had an unhealthy relationship with my blog and I needed time to reflect.
I had to step away from the blogging world. I needed to remember the reason why I started blogging in the first place. I needed to want to blog again. I needed to miss it. That my friends is the reason why I’m back.